By Michael C. Woody | Lake Panorama Times
“Night of the Zoopocalypse”
This is what it looks like when a studio makes an animated film that they really have no care for, nothing to really gain and, frankly, just threw it into the theaters to see if it might stick. It didn’t, and for good reason. No story, nothing memorable in the cast of characters, and just a sloppy effort to cash in on kids when they were home for spring break. Grade: D
“Mickey 17”
I was not a big fan of this writer/director’s last film, “Parasite,” but it won Best Picture, Best Director and a bevy of other important awards a couple years ago. “Mickey 17” tells us the story of a future society that has created a way to bring people back to life after death. Instead of letting them reestablish their lives, they use them as guinea pigs to go into dangerous situations — over and over again. So, Robert Pattinson, who still owes me money for those weird “Twilight” vampire movies, is Mickey 17, an “undesirable” who has died and been brought back 17 times. When an undesirable decides to stay alive and not die, the plot thickens. By the time that two Mickeys come back to life and have a threesome with a woman, I mentally checked out. I guess I won’t have to wait for the writer/director’s next release. I left the theater thinking of just one question: “What’s the point?” Grade: C-
“Black Bag”
Stephen Soderberg has directed and written some great movies including his last film, “Presence,” a modern ghost story from the ghost’s point of view. “Black Bag” gives us the story of some government spies in England with a potential mole in the group. Many dinners and conversations later, we find out who it is, but there was really no way for us to even have an educated guess. The movie is still good, but the pace is decidedly different than you may be used to. Grade: B+
“Novocaine”
I have no idea who Jack Quaid is. I guessed he was Dennis Quaid’s son, and I was correct, but I never would have guessed that his mother is Meg Ryan. Talk about hitting the genetic jackpot. In “Novocaine,” he plays a young man with a condition that prevents him from feeling any pain. You can burn him, knife him, run him over with a car or whatever. Quaid plays it well, though it slips dangerously close to slapstick at times. I did laugh out loud several times, but the finale went on way too long. Grade: B
“The Alto Knights”
This movie is a bit of a conundrum for me. You take a well-respected and award-winning director like Barry Levinson (“Rainman,” “Wag the Dog” and “Disclosure”), hire a top-notch writer like Nicholas Pileggi (“Goodfellas,” “Casino” and “City Hall”) and then hire Robert DeNiro (“Cape Fear,” “The Deer Hunter,” “Raging Bull” and “The Godfather Part 2”) and ask him to play two different roles? Maybe they were short on money and saved a little cash? I wish I could report that it was worth all that talent, but I can’t. It was a good — sometimes very good — movie, but the gimmick wore me out. Grade: B
“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”
The remake of one of Disney’s top five classic films, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” will always raise eyebrows. As expected when you touch a classic film, criticism will follow before anyone has even seen it. In my opinion, this time the criticism was particularly vicious. It started with the casting of a non-white actress in the lead role. Heaven forbid! Then, they chose (rightly, in my opinion) to use CGI to recreate the seven dwarfs (again, in my opinion, the only way it could have been done well). In spite of the criticism, I found the movie to be charming, funny and everything the original was, in different ways. I believe that 95 out of 100 kids who see this movie will love it. Isn’t that who it was made for? Grade: B
“A Working Man”
I’m a big fan of Jason Statham. If you love action films, here is a guy who seems to have all the skills one would need to take down 25 guys at once. He also can have a nice touch of self-deprecating humor. Interestingly, this movie was written and directed by Sylvester Stallone. Statham plays a construction foreman with a “past” and some crazy good skills. When the boss’ daughter is abducted in a bar, Statham’s character is asked to step in. Let’s just say that he more than steps in. The first half of this movie is great fun. Then the whole darned thing goes so far off the rails it is amazing it got released. There has to be 100-plus people killed in some of the most gruesome and gory ways, and the violence just never quits. What a disappointment. Grade: B+ for the first half of the movie and D- for the second.
Michael C. Woody has been reviewing movies on radio and television since 1986. He and his wife, Susan, are residents of Lake Panorama.